Tears

My babies were asleep with their naps. That seemed to be the only time I could read the Bible and pray. So I was reading the Word and praying to the Lord. There was a knock on the door. I got up to answer it and it was my friend’s husband who was also our doctor. He was looking for my husband. As he saw my tears, he became concerned and asked, “Is everything okay here? Are you okay?” I assured him that all was well–I was just having my devotions.

I don’t know how your devotions are with the Lord but in my older age I cannot seem to keep away the tears. The Presence of the Lord just makes my eyes pour tears. The concern for those who are hurting or oppressed, especially if they are family, just comes out of my eyes as liquid love when I pray. My husband comes in to my room after devotions and teasingly calls it a one kleenex or three kleenex morning depending how many wet white balls he sees beside my chair!

Well one morning I went by his chair and asked, “Whatcha readin’?” He said he was reading an article about ‘tears’. It was describing how beneficial tears are to our bodies, our physical health and our emotional health. Having been lovingly teased so many times about my own white wet willy-pads I poked, “When was the last time you cried and had tears?” He couldn’t remember.

When was the last time you had real tears running down your face?

Well, the next morning my husband comes running into the room where I sit for devotions and he exclaims, “I’m crying! I have tears! I asked God to give me tears and He answered and you must come and see what it was! It’s on my computer. Come!”

It was a prose-poem I saw. It was written by our youngest son and we read it from his blog. https://cobpott.blogspot.com/ It was beautiful and profound. Touching. I wanted to share it with everyone–share it with you my blog readers!

But then I was stirred. I saw the date that it was posted. The date haunted me. 2014. Ten years ago. The year that our grandson Salvadore David “Little Sal” was born and lived eleven days. He had Trisomy 13. He was the son of our youngest son, the blogger, the poet. It was such a difficult time for our family.

Then I sensed that maybe I knew the message that God was giving my husband, and maybe me too? There were stored up tears that hadn’t been released from the pain in our hearts. God wanted to do another layer of healing from the grief of losing Little Sal and the sorrow of what our kids had to go through. And that healing had to come through our tears. How kind and compassionate God the Healer is!

What tears have you stored up and not wept in the Presence of God the Healer?

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?

Psalms 56:8

I have found it in songs
played over driving home, played over
I have found a harmony and shouted along,
I have found it angry and there it is
when I pumped my fist!

even after the death of my son,
there it was, the unbreakable thing-

I have found it in loneliness less verbose
what great men have written about,
what the rich scrounge for,
what the strong fight for and do not have,
it is just too simple, there it is
eating crow-

there it is in weakness blazing,
I have found it atop lonely places,
there it is after crummy swing shifts,
in displacement, there it is in the windy darkness
walking home in crummy snowstorms, there
in my little
fumbling voice rejoicing,

Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord!

Byron Nalos January 2014 https://cobpott.blogspot.com

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Published by jackienalos

I am a child of God, loved, and also appreciated by my husband of 48+ years, three grown children, their spouses and my twelve grandchildren. I'm full of stories!

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